Taking a break from the alliteration for y'all's sanity...I've definitely been struggling a bit, primarily due to some trying travel experiences, as well as the inevitable scaling back of the community activities that have given me joy over the past couple years in Boulderland.
The Great Visa Debacle:
My visa was approved at the end of January, and I was informed by the consulate in Los Angeles to, "Come on February 27th at 12:30pm. Please don't be late." So I purchased a flight February 26-28 to pick up my visa. On the evening of Monday, February 12, I received another email, "Come on February 13th at 12:30pm. Please don't be late." So I scrambled to purchase a flight for the next morning. In the scramble, I made a mistake while booking the return flight...I picked up my visa on February 13th without hassle, and then had a full day in LA! I rode public transit to Santa Monica, worked at a Starbucks for a couple hours, and then strolled over to the beach. I was super stoked about the beach scene: lots of giant pull-up bars, trapeze rings, swings etc. Not as much of a macho vibe; rather, friends hanging out at the beach...I swam in the Pacific for the first time ever! I was expecting to be thoroughly disgusted by LA, but I loved it! I met up with a friend, who showed me Hollywood and Venice Beach, and then dropped me off at the airport around 12am for a 1am flight...When I got to the gate, the agent and I discovered that I did not have a flight home until February 28th! Frontier was completely booked and Spirit's website was not functioning, so I had to hunker down for the night at LAX... I bought a 10am flight out the next morning and made it back to Boulder around 3pm, a thoroughly exhausted, defeated shell of a human.
Unfortunately I've been in a funky spot ever since, not quite able to muster up my usual life energy. I take advantage of the productive moods when they come, but they are few and far between. I know I need to focus on moving forward, but distracting myself doesn't seem like the right approach. I've been infinitely grateful for strangers who have reached out: the LAX human who didn't speak English, but knew I was in a tough place and offered me a bottle of water; another LAX human who struck up a conversation at the gate that turned into hours...
Oddly enough, the California beach scene gave me a lot to think about: I was instantly reminded of the reasons I came to Boulder. I'm realizing exactly what I'm looking for when I talk about co-ops, homesteading, eco-villages: I seek a community of folks who live, work, and play together, whether that is on hiking trails, bike paths, ski slopes, farm fields, or the beach. I found a bit of that in Boulderland, but economic realities tend to consume surplus energy for living and playing. Many folks come out here to play outside and are mostly defeated by the need to house one's body in a rental market that serves as an investment opportunity for wealthy Baby Boomers. Today I had a lovely visit with an elderly friend suffering from health problems: her experiences provided some good perspective on end-of-life issues, and the physical limits of our earthly journey.
Of course, these words are the ramblings of a special snowflake, a person of privilege who is chronically unfit for 21st century life in America...I fully realize that I signed up for this lifestyle, chose this path...
I've recently become involved with an eco-village-in-creation in the mountains near Rollinsville: this has given me a great deal hope for a positive return to Colorado, at a time when other signs are pointing towards not returning...I'll get off the Strugglebus soon, but for the time being, it seems like it's taking me somewhere.
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